Relilient Kids Webinar Notes

Recently, I attended this webinar led by psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg and teacher/author Sharon Witt. I made notes and reordered them into separate categories for easy referencing. I hope they are helpful for those who read them.

Resilient Family

Parents are juggling a lot and are worried about their children’s learning. Let us hold on to the belief that this won’t be forever and is a unique learning opportunity to experience remote learning. Two hours of work in a day is more than enough and reflects a huge amount of learning. Don’t expect children to get through all the work their teacher set them.

Parents are not meant to replicate their children’s teacher. They are the parents, to guide their children in their tasks. Love your kids and that will be enough. Breathe. We are all in it together. This is a comfort and gives us strength to face the challenges. If you are a parent at home who is also a teacher give yourself a break. You are the parent first and foremost.

Parents may totally restrict the screen for days. Once the children get through the boredom they get creative and great moments are carved out with positive stories ensuing.

How will it look in the future? It depends on the individual. Parents have to manage that and be willing to loosen up screen time to allow more online games with friends.

Resolution

Our self-talk, our minds, can make negative predictions that we must stop. Notice what our mind is telling us and name it. Teach our children (and ourselves) to be observers of our thoughts. Listen carefully and set the emotional ‘tone’. Adults need to be calm. Be alert and not alarmed and don’t bag the politicians.

Co-parents must bury their animosity quickly and communicate cooperatively in order to create consistent rules. It is important that they share texts or emails to clarify rules around screen time for their children. Single parents have to do their best to minimise the impact on their children. Minimise exposure to the continual news broadcasts. Be guided by their curiosity and listen to them. Set an emotional tone of optimism. Back during WWII there were posters calling everybody to remain calm. That is what is called for today.

Maintain family relationships. Be consistent and resolve conflicts promptly. Do emotional ‘check-ins’. Have regular family meetings that is inclusive. Think about the neighbours. Focus on the things that matter. Allocate ‘me’ time and ‘we’ time. Keep regular contact with grandparents online.

Routine

It will be OK no matter what. Let kids have their school holidays for the normal two weeks. Start each day with active (fun) channels. There are a lot of free apps and YouTube available to draw on. Try a work out with the kids. Keep an element of excitement, to see the positive. Exercise and release endorphins plus dopamine which helps us to stay focused psychologically. Do a good hour of huff and puff. If remote learning commences after the break, be enthusiastic about school. Set the emotional tone – it’s going to be fun.

Routine does matter, even for teenagers. Work in 20-30 minute blocks. Exercise. Break up the day with brain breaks. Reward 30 minutes work with 10 minutes of screen time later the same day. Every child is different. The usual school timetable is not expected to be followed. Set the routine that works for your kids, and have a daily schedule.

Remote learning at home can have lots of school touches. Recess breaks can still happen around the same time. Tips for eating habits are all about keeping the routine. Lunch boxes can be packed in the same way and food eaten at the same time. Keep up a regular routine and include the after school snack time. This is to stop ‘grazing anytime’ habits from starting. Putting on the school uniform can add to this routine. Our education today is uniquely prepared for online learning. Teachers might even wear their fluoro jackets during recess times in their homes if that helps.

Workstation

Where do the children do the school work at home? For primary school children the work space is best in the family area. Set up a family desk there. Try what works out best and see how it goes. Try music, or headphones with music for some children to help them focus.

Motivation

Nurture motivation. This can be built up when children see their routine. Keep this simple. Set the routine based on ‘time’ and not ‘task’, keeping to 20 minute blocks. All the way encourage, encourage and encourage.

What is motivation from a teacher’s perspective? Self-motivation sets goals and a strategy to reach them. It is important to be strongly encouraging and greatly interested in children’s learning effort. Online maths games work. Let children find something they would like to investigate – create their own personal project (not necessarily part of the curriculum), for parents to be inventive and allow them to do these. Let them go on remote excursions, virtual excursions even.

Behaviour

How might behaviours manifest after 6 weeks or more of home isolation? Lots of isolation causes psychological problems so preventative strategies are important to change children’s mindsets. There might be an increasing amount of OCD through all the daily hand washing. Have a gratitude jar or box and a packet of note pages to write these on. Children will be able to look back on these later on. There is a ‘Bucket List’ app to record things to look forward to. These help to have a collection of things to do and think about that breaks up the day.

Struggling students will become more irritable, or become clingier, and have problems sleeping. Everybody reacts differently. Keep an eye out for unusual departures from the norm. If these persist for over 2-3 weeks call a GP for a referral to a government supported psychologist service.

Apps

There are great apps available. ‘Three Good Things’, ‘Reach Out – Breathe’ and ‘Worry Time’ are helpful apps. The app ‘Smiling Mind’ is particularly good for children to spend at least 10 minutes daily. It is evidence based that children become less stressed through mindfulness.

Teens will especially crave social contact. There will be many grieving the loss of their 18 year old parties. They will try to maintain some kind of contact. They might share virtual drinks to sustain themselves. While the isolation is not completely restricted, they can meet one on one in a park sticking to the physical distancing protocol. They might use the ‘party’ apps and they can watch movies ‘together’ online. There is a lot of internet access and that is a positive.

Spiritual/Tradition

Some families have a spiritual awareness including a faith/belief in a higher power. This will be different for everyone. Families will encourage their children’s faith and prayerfulness. Whatever the tradition, children hold to a sense of ‘belonging’ to what their parents live out. Family provides the quality of faith. These times of physical isolation will become the nucleus of a new family tradition to be treasured and enhanced. Memorable moments such as these become family stories that are passed down the generations. There are new opportunities to remember, such as family games and songs, and children may take the chance to self-learn a new skill.

Sleep Hygiene

Adequate sleep supports mental wellbeing. Sleep routines impact the home. Keep good ‘sleep hygiene’ such as dimming the lights in the bedroom 30 minutes before lights out. Let children sleep in cool, dark rooms, with only a small nightlight if necessary. Have a bed time ritual. Read a bedtime story to your children. Eat sleep inducing food. Avoid caffeine. Audio books also help.

Transitioning Back

What about the transition for kids when they return to ‘normal’ school. This will be tricky and teachers will need PD’s from psychologists on this. It might be like the return from the long summer break when it takes a few weeks to properly settle in. Children will discover the importance of friends and further appreciate the physical school environment. The remote learning experience could itself be a learning tool for having self-motivation upon return. Children will be more capable, having discovered much about their own learning at home. They will come back with an improved appreciation of face to face learning. They will want to return to school to see their friends.

Wellbeing

Maintain a psychological wellbeing – ‘we got this’ routine. Tell positive stories and nurture a rich repertoire of friends. We have to be honest, but set the emotional tone. All children have a right to feel safe.

How contactable should teachers be? This is a duty of care question and how to manage that. It is important for teachers to remain available, though this is uncharted territory. Counsellors are available. There are teachers who check in on their own students at least once a week during the holidays and students can email their teacher.

School is a safe place. Sometimes this is not so at home. Normal services are still being maintained. All children have a right to be safe. For those isolated in this group, please reach out to the care lines, where you can go to receive help – not to be alone. There are web page resources.